By day may the Lord send his mercy, and by night may his righteousness be with me!
I will pray to the God of my life. (Psalm 42:9)
September 2, 2025
Hello Everyone –
I hope that you had a restful Labor Day weekend. It’s amazing how quickly the daylight is already growing shorter as we move toward autumn.
Recall that in the Gospel reading this past Sunday Jesus was invited to the house of a leading Pharisee. However, as soon as he walked into the man’s house, Jesus was met with a cold, critical stare. His adversaries were watching him closely, hoping to find grounds for bringing some accusation against him.
Years ago, I ran across these words embossed on a serving board, “If you want to know the quality of a person’s love, all you have to do is look at the kind of people with whom they share their love.” I thought it was an odd place for such words. But then again maybe not. Perhaps it was intended as an affirmation for anyone who benefitted from the bounty of the serving board — of what they were receiving on a deeper level. I never asked the host what his intention was. Maybe I should have?
Be that as it may, it has been said that we tend to look at other people with one of three different types of eyes: friendly eyes, hostile eyes, or indifferent eyes. This too may be a way of sharing one’s love — or not.
As the premise goes, when we look at another person with friendly eyes, it means that from the outset we are well disposed toward that person. What a difference that makes. We are looking out for the good in the individual and ready to excuse the not so good. We are open to the person and there is a willingness to learn from them. It is believed that to experience the weight of friendly eyes on us is a beautiful feeling. It puts us at ease and makes us feel welcome.
When we look at someone with hostile eyes, it means that from the outset we are ill-disposed towards that individual. We are looking for faults and will be disappointed if we do not find them. We do not give the person a chance to prove themself. We have already made up our minds about them. Even if we cannot find any fault with what the person says or does, we can always cast doubt on their motives. We are not disposed to learn anything from them because our minds are closed against them. And our minds are closed because our hearts are closed. To feel the burden of hostile eyes on us is a painful feeling.
When we look at another person with indifferent eyes, it means we do not care about them one way or another. We may see their efforts, their sadness, and even their tears, but they mean nothing to us. We are simply not interested in them or concerned about them. Indeed, we hardly see them at all. It is almost as if they were not there or did not exist.
All too many people are inquisitive about the faults of others but negligent to correct their own. In fact, nothing blinds us to our own faults as a preoccupation with the faults of others. So it was that Jesus was able to turn the tables on the Pharisees in last Sunday’s Gospel. He too had been observing them, though out of different motives and with different eyes.
What do our eyes reveal about us — and how we look at others?
As I do for you, please pray for me,
Most Reverend Jeffrey S. Grob
Archbishop of Milwaukee
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